Mr Riza Hawkeye
by Diana Raven
Summary: After an interview with Edward Elric, Roy Mustang receives a new nickname.
1. Chapter 1

**Betaed by WhatAreAllTheseTears**

* * *

It had started out as a joke. It had been an offhanded comment in the paper that neither Roy nor Riza had actually said. If Ed had known what he would cause, he probably wouldn't have let the words slip. Or maybe he would have, Roy never knew when it came to Ed.

 _"When you were still a state alchemist, you worked with General Mustang and First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, the General's personal adjutant. Correct?"_

 _"Uh, yeah. Why?"_

 _"Can you tell us a little about their relationship?"_

 _"Well, I haven't really been in contact lately, the Flame Basta-I mean G-G… Sorry. It's just really funny to imagine_ him _as a General. Anyway, General—ha ha ha! I can't say it without laughing!—Mustang, and Lieutenant Hawkeye work really well together I guess. There isn't really much more to their relationship, I mean do they bicker sometimes? Sure! But what couple doesn't! N-not that they're a couple! But they're just always together, and that's good 'cuz they work well together, ya know? Even if Hawkeye's clearly the one who wears the pants."_

 _"What do you mean by that?"_

 _"By Lieutenant Hawkeye being the one to wear the pants? Well… it's just, have you_ seen _them? Hawkeye's clearly the one in charge. It's like Mustang is Mr. Riza Hawkeye."_

Mr. Riza Hawkeye.

Now, normally that statement wouldn't bother Roy. Probably because it isn't that far off, (not that he would _ever_ admit that to someone!). But coming from Ed… it just rubbed Roy the wrong way. Also, it didn't help that the media really, _really_ liked that title.

Like a lot. Too much.

Roy actually had been too busy to pay attention to the gossip, but when the words 'General Roy Mustang' were replaced with his new title on newspaper front pages, Roy noticed. Or, more accurately, Breda did.

"Yo! Chief!" The large man ran towards Mustang as fast as his feet could carry him. He skidded a stop between Roy and the door, huffing.

"What is it Breda?" Roy asked with usual annoyance in his voice.

Breda tried to speak and catch his breath at the same time while he waved the newspaper in Roy's face. Roy raised an eyebrow and took it. "Fullmetal…" *wheeze* "…Mustang… As fast as I… Hawkeye… Pants…"

"Huh?" Roy responded. He unfolded the crumpled paper. The headline didn't explain anything to him either.

MR. RIZA HAWKEYE DOES IT AGAIN!

The article itself was on Roy's accomplishments on the rebuilding of Ishval (which in the article he hadn't taken credit for as Miles and Scar were doing most of the work). Breda seemed to have caught his breath because he now explained. "I came as soon as I saw it, sir." _Sure you did, you didn't spend ten minutes laughing first…_ "Seems like Fullmetal mentioned in an interview that you-"

Roy cut him off. "No, I get it. You don't have to explain, Breda." Then a terrifying idea hit him, he shuddered to think of her reaction. "D-does the Lieutenant know?"

Breda chewed his lip thoughtfully, "actually I don't know. She doesn't read gossip magazines but I'm sure some of her friends do."

"Gossip magazines? What do they have to do with this?"

"Oh! You didn't know? This isn't the first time you've been referred to as Mr.-"

"Don't even think it."

Breda resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Okay, well this isn't the first time they've called you… _that_. This is just the first time the _real_ news used it."

"How do you know that?"

Breda puffed out his chest proudly. "I'll have you know that _I_ keep up on all forms of gossip thank you very much!"

"Havoc told you, didn't he?"

"Well, _yeah_."

"Also, Breda. Reading gossip mags isn't exactly something to be proud of." Roy said as he pushed past his subordinate.

"See _you_ say that but you don't have to make conversation with the lower officers. I need to to keep up with lunch-table talk."

"Lunch-table talk? How many people know about this?"

"Uh, _everyone_ , sir."

Roy grumbled and plopped into his desk-chair as he stared at the paper in his hands. The article itself had little to no other mention of the nickname besides a simple " _… General Mustang, also known as Mr. Riza Hawkeye, had first proposed the idea…_ " No one would ever take him seriously again! Not if they kept using the nickname.

 _It's fine, I'm fine._ Roy thought to himself as he turned the paper over in his gloved hands. _Yeah, the nickname hasn't been around for long and soon it'll go away. Yeah, that's right. But if it doesn't…_ Roy took a deep breath. _If it doesn't then Edward Elric is going to have a little explaining to do._

"Uh… Chief?"

"What is it Breda?"

"Did you mean to combust the paper?"

Roy grimaced and dropped the flaming newspaper. He must have unconsciously snapped, thus igniting the tabloid. He patted the paper furiously to suffocate the fire. "No, Breda." He said with a false tone of calm. "No, I did not."

* * *

"Riza! Riza! Riza!"

Riza turned to see Rebecca running towards her. "Oh, hello Rebecca."

"I didn't know you finally landed him! That's great, honey! Also, that's a totally progressive decision with the name change, I always thought you were going to take his name..." When Rebecca saw Riza's quirked eyebrow she changed direction. "You don't know, do you?"

"Know what?"

"Know what?" Rebecca laughed and slapped her friend on the back. "Man, Riza, you never _do_ read the paper do you?"

"If by 'paper' you mean those tabloids you love so much, then no."

Rebecca frowned. "You haven't seen today's front page?"

"Not yet. Why?"

"Uh…"

"Rebecca…"

"Well General Mustang sorta has a new nickname."

"Oh? And why should I care?"

"Because…" Rebecca winced as she watched Riza's face. It was quickly turning from mild interest to her I'm-going-to-stare-my-victim-down-until-they-tell-me-what-I-want-to-know-and-possibly-piss-their-pants face. Sadly, Rebecca couldn't really hold out any longer (but thankfully pissing her pants wasn't her style) "It's Mr. Riza Hawkeye."


	2. Chapter 2

"Are you and the Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye involved?"

"What _exactly_ is your relationship with General Mustang?"

"Is it true that you don't wear rings because you have an open relationship?"

"When the two of you really _do_ get married do you plan on changing your name to the nickname you are commonly referred to?"

"Are you keeping your last name?"

"How do you feel, being the one in charge?"

"Do you have any tips for men trying to land their co-worker?"

"Do you two plan on a honeymoon any time soon?"

"Is it awkward around the workplace now?"

"Or kids?"

"Tell us how you met!"

"When did you pop the question? Or was _she_ the one who did?"

"When did you two get together?"

"What do you think of his family?"

"What do you think of hers?"

Soon reporters seemed to forget that Mr. Riza Hawkeye was just a nickname (a stupid one, Roy claimed adamantly, no one really believed him). Questions starting popping up about their relationship, or lack thereof. Fuhrer Grumman's sudden announcement of repealing the Fraternization Laws only fueled the fire.

"Is the cancellation of the Fraternization Laws a result of your engagement to General Mustang?"

"Did you request for your future grandfather-in-law to revoke the Fraternization Laws?"

Roy and Riza continued to deny any engagement, romantic relationship, or want for romantic relationship (one of those things might have been a lie though). But all their work was for nothing when a ballsy reporter snuck into the Fuhrer's bedroom one night for an exclusive.

* * *

"' _Did your annulment of the Fraternization Laws have anything to do with the rumored romantic relationship between your own granddaughter and the State Alchemist General Roy Mustang?'_ " Havoc read aloud to his friends. They sat in Madame Christmas's bar at a table, Falman had gotten vacation time from Briggs and had made his way down to Central. The bulk of their group sat together, only the two whose relationship was in question were missing, they sat at the edge of their seats, drinks clutched in their hands. " _Fuhrer Grumman just winked and replied 'I can neither confirm nor deny that.'"_

"Oy!" Breda cried already a little tipsy. "That's just as good as giving them a yes!"

Rebecca snorted, she and Jean had been dating recently and outside of work you almost never saw them apart. "I don't think _anyone_ in the history of _anyone_ wants Riza and the General to get together more than him."

"But wait!" Jean Havoc interrupted dramatically, "there's more!" He cleared his throat and continued to read. " _'How do you feel about General Mustang's nickname, 'Mr. Riza Hawkeye'?' I asked him. Grumman laughed 'I think it's an apt nickname.'"_

Fuery gasped. "He didn't!" The young man cried, gripping his Shirley temple anxiously. The youngest of their group was old enough to drink alcohol but the man refused to, claiming that the hangover wasn't worth it. He stuck to his kiddy cocktails.

Havoc just continued reading. " _'If you were to find out that your granddaughter and the General were in a romantic relationship would you be surprised?' He responded simply, 'if I ever want to be able to speak to my granddaughter again I must tell you that I have no comment.'_ "

"OOOOOOOH!"

" _'Then we heard the Fuhrer's bodyguards coming. Grumman turned to me, 'I only have time for one more question,' he told me, 'so make it good.' 'how long do you expect they will continue denying romantic involvement?' Grumman shrugged as he helped me back out the window, 'they're pretty stubborn. Now go! Run!' As I safely-"_

"Uh... Havoc…"

"Huh? What?"

Breda nodded to something behind him. Havoc slowly turned his head to see the glowering couple in question. "Yeah, Havoc. Please," Roy leaned forward, hands on his hips, "regale us on whatever is so interesting."

Jean's eyes shifted to Riza's. He gulped loudly when he saw her fiddling with one of her guns. His mouth felt dry. "Nah, I think I'm good."

Roy grabbed the tabloid and ignited it. "Good." He grabbed a chair and sat between Falman and Feury, "so, what's new Falman?"

* * *

Roy stared at the telephone as he debated picking up the receiver. Despite Riza continuing to act as his adjutant they had decided to spend as much time apart as possible, so they hadn't really had any time to talk to each other in private. Roy sighed and picked up the phone, they needed a new game plan. He dialed Riza's number and hoped that she was still home.

 _BRING! BRING! BRING!_ " _Hello?_ " Riza asked. Her voice soft, Roy looked at the time, it was late she must have been about ready to go to sleep.

"Oh, um, I could call back Lieutenant."

" _Oh, sir. No please, what's up?_ "

"We need a new strategy, they're not letting go of the bone."

He could hear her melodic laugh from the other end of the line. " _Is taking my name really that bad, sir_?" She teased.

Roy's heart stopped. He knew she was only teasing, but… did that mean she didn't mind? Because he didn't really mind, well he did, he minded because it wasn't really a title that invoked respect though it invoked fear for anyone who knew or knew of Riza. So maybe respect would come one day, but it gave people the misconception that they were significant others-which they weren't! They couldn't have been! Riza..., Roy sighed internally, Riza didn't feel that way about him.

" _Sir?_ "

He must have been quiet too long. Shit. " _Sir? Are you there?_ "

"Yeah, yeah I'm here."

" _… we were talking about a new strategy?_ "

"What if-" _Don't suggest it stupid!_ Roy told himself, but his traitor mouth didn't want to listen, "-what if we stopped fighting."

He was greeted with silence. FUCK! He fucked it up! He knew he did!

" _I'm confused, sir_."

"What if we stopped denying it…"

" _You mean, like we ignore them_?"

That was a stab to the heart, no he didn't mean ignore them, he meant why don't we accept it, that we love each other and move on. Get married. _I wouldn't mind changing my name to Hawkeye_. He found himself thinking. "Uh… sure."

He could _hear_ her frown. " _You don't sound so convinced, sir._ " Roy said nothing. There was a pause from her side of the line. " _Roy, is there something you want to tell me?_ " She asked.

Roy. She called him Roy. She never did that.

He thought back to their nightmares from Ishval, from the burning sands and her burning flesh to nights when neither could sleep and one was shaking so hard that they wondered if they would ever be right again. He thought about the way that she would lace her arms around his shoulders, hugging him back into reality. She would whisper sweet nothings into his ears and he would lay a head on her shoulder and everything would be alright.

Well, almost never.

"I, um." Roy couldn't get the words out, he just couldn't.

" _You know, I was joking before._ " She said so softly that the words almost didn't make it across the line. " _But I really_ don't _mind it you know, you being called Mr. Riza Hawkeye. I just…_ " She took a deep breath. " _I always sort of figured it would be me to change my name._ "

There it was. Something he couldn't ignore. Plain as day. " _I'd follow you into hell if you asked me to, sir._ "

"I know. And I'd follow you back."

* * *

"Ed! Ed! Come look at this!" Winry called. Edward Elric stumbled down the stairs to where his wife and mechanic sat. She was eating breakfast, today's newspaper on her lap. She smiled at him and handed him the paper. "Looks like your nickname worked."

GENERAL ROY MUSTANG TO TAKE ON THE NAME "MR. RIZA HAWKEYE" FOR REAL

Ed couldn't help but smirk.


End file.
